Raj and I have, for the last few years, been going through assisted reproductive technology. Unsuccessfully. Today I confirmed that the last of our 4 embryos (Eeny, Meeny, Miney and Mo- had I presence of mind I would have called them maggie and millie and molly and may ) didn't make it after implantation. We're done with this process. We are grateful for the technology and the access we have to IVF as Singaporeans. And we're sad. Sad is too short a word, but it's also an appropriate word, the sigh lisping out at the start, the little exhale in the vowel curling up in the back of your throat like a hurt animal, and the downward pitch of the last closed syllable. Now you can read on if you are thinking "how is Lois making sense of this?" and "how can I be helpful to her?" I caution that if you're processing your own loss, infertility, grief or gender identity, my reflections may not be the most helpful thing for you to read for you right now. I wi...
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