Grateful for things and grateful to be able to feel gratitude.

We've had family caregiving responsibilities this season. I am grateful for Raj.

I've started learning slowly about my role in BBEH, about language work, and about Tetun. I've learned some lovely new words.

I was sad today and had people I could text about it. I am grateful for this.

So, a couple quotes from this Colbert episode that struck me and which resonate with this season:

"If he's good, I'm good."

and this:

Comments

FAQ for a leaving clinical director

Maluk Timor welcomes our new Executive Director Mrs Dillyana Ximenes in a couple of weeks. And the questions come... Why are you leaving? Because I have done what I can in 4.5 years, and it's time to hand over to a team that can carry our work forward. We arrived in Sept 2020, and have watched our team grow over the years from a scrappy little start-up to a scrappy little scale-up. We're leaving not because things are bad, but because things are good. Are you leaving because you fought with someone/did something wrong/got fired? No. See previous point and next point. When did you make this decision? The day we came to Timor, actually. Always start with an exit plan. We have always been looking for leadership that can take the team forward. We talked about it again seriously in July 2024 with our team. Are you sorry to leave Maluk Timor? Yes. Very. Raj and I have spent more of our married lives in Maluk Timor than in any other place. Some of my happiest memories are dancing ...

Lists.

What have I been doing in the 3 months since my last update? Making lists and sometimes tearing them up. I have a list of "To do today" items, quite standard. It hasn't moved very much in the last 2 weeks. Mundane things: triage emails, edit policies, plan teaching sessions. I have a list of "Deep work" items/projectettes that require focused attention: my Med Ed essay, my Moore essay, a research paper I'm trying to write with Dr M, Chinese+Mandarin revision, Tetun study, core skills in Medicine. I have a list of "Dashboard" items that represent the things I'm responsible for or have things to do with: Research Staff Health Education/Training Volunteers Email M&E (Monitoring & Evaluation) Translation Emails Communications and Social Media People (Relationships) That's just for work. I have a more general list that captures the bigger categories: Bible Journal Exercise Work People (Relationships) Home Medicine I used to have a list ...

Eeny, Meeny, Miney, and Mo.

Raj and I have, for the last few years, been going through assisted reproductive technology. Unsuccessfully. Today I confirmed that the last of our 4 embryos (Eeny, Meeny, Miney and Mo- had I presence of mind I would have called them maggie and millie and molly and may ) didn't make it after implantation. We're done with this process. We are grateful for the technology and the access we have to IVF as Singaporeans. And we're sad. Sad is too short a word, but it's also an appropriate word, the sigh lisping out at the start, the little exhale in the vowel curling up in the back of your throat like a hurt animal, and the downward pitch of the last closed syllable. Now you can read on if you are thinking "how is Lois making sense of this?" and "how can I be helpful to her?" I caution that if you're processing your own loss, infertility, grief or gender identity, my reflections may not be the most helpful thing for you to read for you right now. I wi...

Raj and Lois in Timor

Search This Blog