Raj and Lois in Timor

Here we are in 2026. I am still in Dili. Raj travels a lot for his new work with the Equitech Collective . I've greatly enjoyed these 6 months at Biblia ba Ema Hotu. We've seen the team grow. I've learned a bit better how to listen and maybe a little about how to speak in someone else's language. I've seen how Scripture is meant to be the big-C Church's project amidst the rough-and-tumble of little-c church. I'm learning to be content here, in this season that doesn't last forever. We're well into rainy season again: the big winds that peel up the corners of zinc roofs; the cooling showers that help rinse out the air around Dili; the irregular blackouts from falling branches on power lines- tempu udan is a season that makes me stop and think as we reach for the solar lamp. It's become easier to stop and think about things. Someone asked us last week to map the stars and scars in our life. I had to say that in this season, sometimes all I can make...

We've had family caregiving responsibilities this season. I am grateful for Raj. I've started learning slowly about my role in BBEH, about language work, and about Tetun. I've learned some lovely new words. I was sad today and had people I could text about it. I am grateful for this. So, a couple quotes from this Colbert episode that struck me and which resonate with this season: "If he's good, I'm good." and this:

Almost five years ago, Raj and I masked up, packed our surge protectors, and took a World Food Programme special flight into Dili, Timor-Leste. We started as volunteers in Maluk Timor, a local nonprofit established to strengthen Timor-Leste's primary care system by partnering with the Ministry of Health. We had the luxury of a long overlap with MT's founders Drs Jeremy and Bethany Beckett, and 8 months later we stepped up to the task of leading this organisation --I, at least, had not a clue as to the drama and delight that the next few years would hold. Now as I shift gears into a season of quieter work and language study, the memories of these years tumble over each other like pebbles down a waterfall, a jumble of laughter and tears and pride and regret. During my time, I’ve had the privilege of working alongside some of the most committed health professionals I’ve ever met, both in Timor-Leste's Ministry of Health and within my own organisation. Together with the Ministr...

 And we are who we are .

龙游浅水遭虾戏,  虎落平阳被犬欺 -  增广贤文 לְכֶ֤לֶב חַי֙ ה֣וּא ט֔וֹב  מִן־ הָאַרְיֵ֖ה הַמֵּֽת קֹהֶלֶת but, only this matters.

Maluk Timor welcomes our new Executive Director Mrs Dillyana Ximenes in a couple of weeks. And the questions come... Why are you leaving? Because I have done what I can in 4.5 years, and it's time to hand over to a team that can carry our work forward. We arrived in Sept 2020, and have watched our team grow over the years from a scrappy little start-up to a scrappy little scale-up.  We're leaving not because things are bad, but because things are good. Are you leaving because you fought with someone/did something wrong/got fired? No. See previous point and next point. When did you make this decision? The day we came to Timor, actually. Always start with an exit plan. We have always been looking for leadership that can take the team forward. We talked about it again seriously in July 2024  with our team. Are you sorry to leave Maluk Timor? Yes. Very. Raj and I have spent more of our married lives in Maluk Timor than in any other place. Some of my happiest memories are dancing ...

When holding your breath is safer than breathing When letting go is braver than keeping When innocent words turn to lies And you can't hide by closing your eyes When the pain is all that they offer Like the kiss from the lips of a monster You know the famine so well, but never met the feast When home is the belly of a beast The ocean is wild and over your head And the boat beneath you is sinking Don't need room for your bags, hope is all that you have So say the Lord's Prayer twice, hold your babies tight Surely someone will reach out a hand And show you a safe place to land. From A Safe Place to Land , Sara Bareilles Maybe future me will look back and say aiyo past L, how come so emo? Dear Future L: most of it warn't fit for publication.