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29 minutes (content warning: neonatal death)

This is how long it takes to bury your firstborn, your baby.

Not included:

An hour or so to mound a pile of cement powder, a little further away from the spot, and slosh water into it. Mix it well. Ave Maria, grasa barak liu iha ita boot. Maromak ho ita boot. Ita boot diak liu feto hotu-hotu. Ita boot nia oan Jesus diak liu. Santa Maria, Maromak nia Inan, harohan ba Nai Maromak tanba ami ata salan, oras nee ho oras nebe ami ata besik atu mate.

A morning and a night to consider the spot in the family cemetery, the lush green hills framed in boughs heavy with ivory belladonna. To dig the child-sized hole... four feet, not six. To line it with cement, smoothing the edges down like a bedspread.

Two days to greet the guests, feed the guests, change the flowers, accept the wreaths. Show them to the little coffin in the hallway.

One night, the longest night, of watching the struggle to breathe, struggle to feed, the rosy skin mottling, fingertips chilling, slipping out of reach of a kangaroo cuddle.

Nine months (give or take some weeks) of making room and making hopes, choosing names and choosing onesies.


But I said that it takes 29 minutes.

Lower the coffin into the ground. Don't tip it. Two feet of clearance to the ground that will become your baby's ceiling. Ave Maria, grasa barak liu iha ita boot. Maromak ho ita boot. Ita boot diak liu feto hotu-hotu. Ita boot nia oan Jesus diak liu. Santa Maria, Maromak nia Inan, harohan ba Nai Maromak tanba ami ata salan, oras nee ho oras nebe ami ata besik atu mate.

Lay wooden struts across the hole. Put a zinc sheet over it.  Ave Maria, grasa barak liu iha ita boot. Maromak ho ita boot. Ita boot diak liu feto hotu-hotu. Ita boot nia oan Jesus diak liu. Santa Maria, Maromak nia Inan, harohan ba Nai Maromak tanba ami ata salan, oras nee ho oras nebe ami ata besik atu mate.

Scoop cement into buckets, tip it out onto the zinc, and smooth it down. Ave Maria, grasa barak liu iha ita boot. Maromak ho ita boot. Ita boot diak liu feto hotu-hotu. Ita boot nia oan Jesus diak liu. Santa Maria, Maromak nia Inan, harohan ba Nai Maromak tanba ami ata salan, oras nee ho oras nebe ami ata besik atu mate.

Wedge wooden planks on their sides around the cement pool. Wedge them tightly. Ave Maria, grasa barak liu iha ita boot. Maromak ho ita boot. Ita boot diak liu feto hotu-hotu. Ita boot nia oan Jesus diak liu. Santa Maria, Maromak nia Inan, harohan ba Nai Maromak tanba ami ata salan, oras nee ho oras nebe ami ata besik atu mate.

Pour more cement, smooth it down. Ave Maria, grasa barak liu iha ita boot. Maromak ho ita boot. Ita boot diak liu feto hotu-hotu. Ita boot nia oan Jesus diak liu. Santa Maria, Maromak nia Inan, harohan ba Nai Maromak tanba ami ata salan, oras nee ho oras nebe ami ata besik atu mate.

Lay another wooden strut lengthwise over the cement. Lay a wooden board over it (it would have done nicely for a toddler's bed-board). Lay your baby's picture at the head. Ave Maria, grasa barak liu iha ita boot. Maromak ho ita boot. Ita boot diak liu feto hotu-hotu. Ita boot nia oan Jesus diak liu. Santa Maria, Maromak nia Inan, harohan ba Nai Maromak tanba ami ata salan, oras nee ho oras nebe ami ata besik atu mate.

Graciously thank your guests.

Lay the flowers on the board. More. Hibiscus, bougainvillea, daisy; a tumbling blanket of scarlet and amber and cream and magenta. Ave Maria, grasa barak liu iha ita boot. Maromak ho ita boot. Ita boot diak liu feto hotu-hotu. Ita boot nia oan Jesus diak liu. Santa Maria, Maromak nia Inan, harohan ba Nai Maromak tanba ami ata salan, oras nee ho oras nebe ami ata besik atu mate.

Light candles. Place them around the new grave. Ave Maria, grasa barak liu iha ita boot. Maromak ho ita boot. Ita boot diak liu feto hotu-hotu. Ita boot nia oan Jesus diak liu. Santa Maria, Maromak nia Inan, harohan ba Nai Maromak tanba ami ata salan, oras nee ho oras nebe ami ata besik atu mate. Amen.

Go and have lunch with your guests.

---

To those in whose memory this is: I apologise for presuming to speak in second person, and I am grateful for the opportunity to witness your fortitude in sorrow. Deskanza en pas Bebe, ho forsa nafatin Inan Aman.

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